“...I left a trail of footprints deep in the snow
I swore one day I would retrace them
But when I turned around, I found that the wind had erased them
Now I'll never replace them...”
-Dan Fogelberg, The Last Nail
If you’re a Dan Fogelberg fan, you already know. If you’re not, his music and lyrics can be summed up like this: it’s as if he stole your diary, invaded your dreams, eavesdropped on all your hopes and fears, and somehow saw the parts of your soul you hide from everyone else. Then he put it all to some brilliant, intensely emotional music, complete with multiple haunting layers of his own vocals, and published it for the world to see.
And he didn’t even apologize.
Starting in the 1970's until his untimely death at the age of 56, Dan wrote and sang about every human condition with surgical precision that cut straight to the bone. Sometimes with joy, sometimes with intense sorrow, but always with passion and authenticity.
But this song - these lyrics. Ugh. Every time I even think about them, I have only one inescapable reaction: gut-punching regret.
I know, regret is useless, but it still exists. And, although I’m not one to live in the past or beat myself up for mistakes long forgiven, this song snaps my head around like an arctic wind, pointing me straight in the direction of a bygone era: young motherhood.
The things I took for granted.
The things I can never get back.
And, worst of all, the things I wish I had done differently.
I left a trail of footprints deep in the snow
(I said “in a little while,” “I don’t have time right now,” “I’m busy.”)
I swore someday I would retrace them...
(But maybe tomorrow - or next week - or someday...)
But when I turned around, I found that the wind had erased them
(”Someday” turned into lost opportunities.)
And now I’ll never replace them.
(And I regret that.)
Regret is an exercise in futility. But that doesn’t mean I don’t still feel it - as I suspect every mother does from time to time, because we all understand that motherhood is the most impossible job on the planet. But we also know that the biggest regret would have been missing out on the chance to make all of those mistakes in the first place.
So, to Benjamin Kyle, Jared Thomas, Adam Neil, and Andrew James, know that the grace and acceptance you have shown me as you grew out of your footie pajamas and into stellar young men who love me unconditionally despite my obvious failures and flaws has been one of the greatest, most undeserved gifts of my life.
And that, I will never take for granted.
p.s. And Dan - even though you’re long gone - I forgive you for getting all up in my business like that...
January 27, 2026